Things I've learned...thus far.

Motherhood is the single most important job you'll ever have. Being a new mother, I thought I would impart some of my wisdom to the soon to be mama's out there.

1) It is actually possible to take a shower in the time it takes the music on your child's mobile to start and stop.
2) When diapering a baby boy...WATCH OUT. No, seriously. His weapons are dangerous. I say weapons because his little booty is just as dangerous. Don't discount it...ever. You will pay dearly.
3) You become immune to spit up and diaper blowouts. Trust me. It's never fun, but at some point you shrug and calmly take it like a woman.
4) You will do anything to win your child's smile. This means acting like a complete and total moron in public. The great thing is you don't care what people think anymore. You just got that baby's smile, and it is the most amazing feeling in the world.
5) You don't actually need that much sleep to survive. Sleep is optional. Ok, not really...A lot of sleep definitely is optional. I survived many a day with minimal sleep.
6) You will develop amazing cat-like reflexes when it comes to your child trying to throw himself backwards out of your arms. I don't even think anyone sees my arm move anymore.
7) Be prepared for your friends without children to be confused when you seemingly start cooing at them over the phone. You may even get less calls from them after this. Don't be frightened. They still love you. It's just having someone say, "Oh, it's ok my little boo boo monster baby," in baby talk while they are trying to talk to you about the finer points of a movie they saw last night can be a bit creepy.
8) You will no longer have a glamorous life. No more staying up super late (unless your child hates sleep)...even on a Friday night. No more date nights for awhile. Date night will consist of either you or your husband holding your child while you attempt to watch a movie or tv show. It usually fails miserably.
9) You will eventually tune out annoying toys. Every so often you will get the urge to burn the makers of the toy at the stake. This is a completely normal reaction that will pass.
10) You will willingly sing Bingo to get a smile from your child. Don't worry if you have the urge to shoot the farmer who had a dog named bingo...and bingo for that matter...it's totally normal.
11) Pajama's are your friend. Learn to love them.
12) If you are breastfeeding...the only time you will sit still when they reach about 3 months is when you nurse them. Take advantage of this.
13) Invest in a wrap or sling. Your arms will thank you...especially if you have a gigantic beast baby like I did.
14) If you intend to breastfeed know this: The pain does go away. Push through it. It will be worth it!!
15) Most important of all: You will LOVE every minute of this. You won't mind to terribly when your child poops on you because, afterall, poop washes off. You won't mind being spit up on because spit up also washes off. Hang on tight. You're in for a ride...a spectacular and amazing ride.

Jamie is one month old!

Well- five weeks to be exact. Everyone said it would go fast and boy were they right. The time has literally flown by with the speed of light. I was looking at newborn photographs of my sweet baby boy last night. My goodness, he has grown so much. Newborn and one month photos

Jamie isn't having any trouble at all putting on weight while breastfeeding obviously. At his 3 week check up he weighed in at 10lbs 2 oz. So, he put on 2lbs. He's just growing like a weed!

He's such a pleasant baby! He's ridiculously well-tempered. He loves to play all the time now. He thinks the "getting dressed game" is super fun. For those of you who don't know...the getting dressed game consists of fighting Mom while she tries to get the outfit on the baby...while the baby smiles and tries to laugh. He's such a goofball, but also very contemplative. He's rolled from his stomach to his back already. He scoots himself whenever put down so I have to watch him like a hawk. His neck is already so strong. He also has a ridiculously bad habit of trying to throw himself backwards. I have catlike reflexes due to this child.

Last week, I went to change his diaper and he started screaming bloody murder. My initial reaction was, "Oh no! Does he have diaper rash? Did I hurt him? AHHHH!!" I looked up at his little face and saw the problem. Jamie had grabbed a large portion of his hair and was pulling it. He couldn't figure out how to release his little fist. I started laughing so hard. I got his hand out of his hair and he glared at me with a very angry expression on his face. I don't think he found it quite as amusing as I did.

James Lester IV: A Birth Story

I started my labor early Saturday morning, June 12, around 3am. I was 38 weeks pregnant. I wasn't convinced I was in labor at first. It hurt, but not too bad. I finally called my doula, Lindsey, at about 8:30am and let her know contractions were at about 30-45minutes apart. I was to be induced on Monday, so I was so excited that my body was actually doing things on it's own. I had hoped I wouldn't need pitocin. I labored on my own with Les until about 7:30pm and then Lindsey came to help. At about Midnight we decided contractions were close enough and I was well enough dilated that I should go to the hospital. After a nightmare trip to Labor & Delivery...I was sent home. My labor slowed way down. It picked back up a bit on later that day, but stopped again. Monday came and we showed up for my induction. I started pitocin at 9am. I was 4cm and my water broke shortly after ten on it's own. Contractions were long and hard, but my body wasn't dilating at all. I was still 4 cm. We bumped the pitocin to 16 before I finally caved after hearing "no change" again and got an epidural. They pumped the pitocin to 24...no change. I was extremely effaced. They could feel my little ones head. It was starting to look like he really wouldn't fit. It was about 5pm. The doc came in and told me we needed to do a c-section. I was worried after hearing so many horror stories about women being told they couldn't birth that I would find out I really could have after the section. Plus, major surgery was not on my list of things to do that day. I asked to talk with Les and we decided to go ahead with the c-section. I was wheeled into the OR and Les put on the proper attire and joined me up by my head. In no time I heard the best sound ever. My son's cry. He was born at 6:06pm June 14th, 2010. He weighed in at 8lbs 15oz...but Jamie decided to pee on the nurse and Daddy before he had been weighed. The nurse turned to me and said "Oh honey, you claim those 9lbs...you deserve to claim them." Les brought our swaddled son and sat by my head. I had a couple minutes to touch his little face when I started to notice it was getting hard to breathe. I felt like I was choking too. I felt something warm on my chest. Suddenly, Les and Jamie were rushed out of the room. I was given a heavy dose of morphine and faded in and out of consciousness. I remember people frantically trying to find a vein in my arms, hands, and finally my neck...without any luck. I remember saying I was cold. It was then I realized in some part of my mind I was probably bleeding pretty badly. I had been in labor for so long and going so hard that my uterus turned into pizza dough. It wouldn't contract and the bleeding wouldn't stop. I had started hemorrhaging. As it turns out, my pelvis is so narrow I cannot even birth a 3 lb baby. My doc said if you put four fingers on top of each other in kind of a square shape that's my pelvic opening. My doc couldn't get the balloon that was needed inside the uterus inside because she couldn't fit her hand in there. Another surgeon came in who had long skinny fingers and got it in. That stopped the hemorrhaging. If they had not been able to do that it would have had to been a hysterectomy. As it stands...I can have other children...as long as they delivered by c-section.

I was given a few blood and plasma transfusions through the night. I was fine enough that night to start to try and nurse Jamie...who was healthy as can be. Les said when I started to choke, Jamie let out the loudest, shrillest cry he'd ever heard...and hasn't done so again. Les had started a pray chain without really knowing it by calling his parents and asking them to pray. I had most of the small town I live in praying for me...and lots of his relatives in SC and my relatives in MI. I have no doubt that it was God who saved me. I'm not arrogant enough to believe otherwise.

Jamie is my world...He's changed my entire life for the better. I cannot help but love my little man. He's strong...really freaking strong! He was holding his head up about an hour after birth. He pushes up from laying on my chest to look at me and look around. He scoots already too. Jamie also has a real knack for peeing on himself while I change his diaper. He's only gotten me a few times and those were not while changing him. We had a diaper leakage issue (no Huggies for us...LOL).

Jamie makes the cutest faces. He has one Les calls his Zoolander face. He purses his lips in a little "O" shape and opens his eyes big...it's hilarious. We have no idea what it means yet. I think he's just being a goofball like his Daddy. Jamie also adores playing with his Daddy and making faces at Mommy. He is loved by everyone he meets. He's really such a sweet baby...temper and all.

So close...

Jamie will be here in less than a month. LESS THAN A MONTH?!?! Oh my gosh, yeah, I'm freaking out just a teeny bit. What if I'm not a good mother? What if he decides he wants to show up before I'm induced (as long as it's close to the induction date I probably won't freak about that. I wouldn't need the stupid pitocin that way)? What if I don't have something he needs? What if...ok...enough. "What if" is never a fun game to play. Especially when you KNOW everything happens the way it should happen. God doesn't screw things up.

I have most of Jamie's nursery done. I still have time to work on that though. He'll be sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's room for awhile anyway. I cannot wait to meet him (outside the womb). I mean, I'm so curious as to what color hair he'll have (it can be anything...we have them all on both sides). I want to know who he'll look like more. I'm thinking Les because of the free 3D ultrasound pics we got this week. I really just want to hold him though. I want to hear that first cry escape his little mouth. You know the one that tells you everything is alright.

These weeks of pregnancy have flown by so fast. I'm really starting to slow down now. I can't get as much done as before. I get tired so fast. I rarely sleep anymore. I'm uncomfortable 99% of the time...and yet if asked if I would do it again my answer would be "in a heartbeat." I was made for this. This pregnancy has been wonderful. Yes, I've had morning sickness, heartburn from hades, varying levels of exhaustion, sleeplessness, and all the other not so fun pregnancy symptoms. It doesn't matter though. It's what we're supposed to go through. You get this amazingly precious gift at the end that makes it all completely worth it. I cannot believe I am so close to him being here now. I feel so incredibly blessed.

Surreal Moments

The other day after my appointments, I was standing in my kitchen looking out the bay windows. Les was outside trimming some branches so we could get some peaches from the peach tree this year. I had some turkey breast sizzling away on the stove. I looked down at my belly and saw Jamie kicking away. I had to stop and take a deep breath. Looking around my beautiful house and beautiful yard I realized something. Something so very important. I had the life I had always dreamed of having. I am a homemaker, about to be a mother, married to the most wonderful and amazing man I have ever met, finally found faith, and lastly...I was deliriously happy. Just a little over two years ago, I was lying in a bed dying. I was so lonely, but way to sick to really do anything about it. I never expected to live a normal life. I never expected to marry. I definitely never expected to have children. Well, I met Les and the rest, as they say, is history. It's a bumpy and sometimes very sad history, but it's ours. Very soon we will have our little boy with us. I honestly can't imagine a more satisfying life to lead.

Quit Whining!

**Below is a rant. If you don't like...I don't care. Get over it and quit whining**

I am so sick of whining. I promise it seems like all I hear from certain people is how their life isn't going the way they want it to and they can't fix it. Um, yes you can. It takes work though. It won't happen overnight. Suck it up and do something about it. There will be obstacles. There will be pain. However, there will be good times too. That's life. You have the ability to change anything you want. Don't believe me? Try it. I don't mean for one day. If you lack the ability to stick with something then you must except that your life will always be exactly what it is now...and get the hell over it. I am this close to closing down friendships with people who constantly whine about their lives and do nothing to fix them.

Do you think it was easy for me to get up and walk around a track after 6 years of laying in bed? HELL NO! It was harder than anything else I have ever done. My body rebelled against me because it was use to no exercise whatsoever. I wanted a better life. I decided to get out of the damn bed and LIVE. I was sick of seeing the pain on Les' face when I would curl up and go to sleep shortly after he came to visit me. I was tired of constantly feel ill. I decided if I felt that bad on the medications, there was no use in being on them. Some of them made me very sick (namely the chemo). I told my doctor I didn't want it anymore. I do realize that I had God backing me in all this. God didn't do everything though. It took a lot of hard work and determination on my part. Sometimes you don't know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have. Cheesy, yes. Still true. The hardest thing to get off of was the narcotic. I was in pain for so long and on it so long, my body craved it. My body was addicted. It was hell...a living hell...to get off of. I literally went through a heroin withdrawal. In the midst of it, I realized the pills were still in the house. I could take one and end the misery. Instead, I got pissed and tossed them all in the toilet...and flushed. Now, there was no going back. I shivered and had cold sweats. I didn't sleep for about a week. I cried and shook like crazy. My stomach hurt worse than anything I've ever felt before in my life. I'm pretty sure I didn't eat more than the equivalent of three meals all week. I am now healthy and happy with my life.

So the next time I hear "I can't" come out of your mouth, don't be surprised if I roll my eyes and call you out on it. Feel sick all the time? Or possibly sick of the way you look? Change your diet. Take vitamins. Drink water. Exercise. Find faith. Mostly JUST FREAKING DEAL WITH IT YOURSELF. Don't constantly whine about it. I am done listening to it. If you feel the need to whine, whine to someone who hasn't heard your endless prattling about how you "can't" change anything. If you truly cannot change it, then except it and move on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGt-8adyabk&feature=channel

Dear Never Been Pregnant Friends...

Dear never been pregnant friends,
While I realize you really do mean well, there are a few guidelines I need to inform you of right now. These will dramatically increase your survival rate...trust me.
1) You are not permitted to offer me advice on what I should and shouldn't do during this pregnancy. This means you cannot tell me what I should and shouldn't eat, that I should be sleeping, or that I shouldn't be stressing.
2) You are not allowed to tell me what you would do differently from me in your future pregnancy.
3) You are not allowed to offer child-rearing advice to me. Not only have you never been pregnant...you have NO children.
4) You are not allowed to tell me that I can't possibly be "that tired" or "that emotional." Saying something like this will result in violence.
5) My baby is not a medical term (i.e. fetus). It is a child. If you have a problem calling it that do not speak to me until after my CHILD is born.

I have a wonderful support group of women who've had several children. If I need advice on this pregnancy I will go to them. I do appreciate that you mean well and looked things up online or whatnot, but I really don't need to be committing homicide before my child is born. I'd appreciate it if you followed these guidelines. If you do not, I am no longer responsible for my actions. Do not run off crying when I call you out for saying something you know nothing about. Thank you.